Oscar-Worthy Tears: Celebs' Emotional College Drop-Offs

The Nepotistic Narcissism of Celeb Parents: A Study in Self-Indulgence

It's that time of year when ordinary mortals are overcome with emotion as they drop off their college-bound kids, wrestling with the bittersweet pangs of letting go. But for A-listers, it's a chance to flex their parental muscles on social media, broadcasting their "heartbreak" and "pride" in a self-congratulatory spectacle that's more about them than their little Einsteins.

Lauren Sanchez Bezos, the billionaire ex-mistress of Jeff Bezos, took her 18-year-old son Evan to the University of Miami, Instagramming: "Dropped off Evan at college today. 18 years of early mornings, late night snacks and family dinners… and there he was building his own dorm cabinet." Yawn.

Meanwhile, Liev Schreiber's tears are just as profuse, tweeting about his son Sasha's departure for USC: "Starting to feel the pull. Gonna miss my ride or die. Having said that, USC is gonna get one of the deepest, kindest, bravest and most beautiful boys I have ever known." Save it for the Oscars, Liev.

His mom, Naomi Watts, joined in the waterworks, posting: "Already balling!" with three crying emojis, because who doesn't need to share their emotional turmoil with 2.5 million followers? 🤣

The Guilt Trip

These self-absorbed stars are convinced that their little bundles of joy are the reason for their own success. Jennifer Garner's Oscar-worthy sob fest at her daughter Violet's graduation was a masterclass in manipulation, captioning her Instagram post: "Tell me you have a graduate without telling me you have a graduate." Someone hand her an Emmy.

And then there's Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman's Varsity Blues scandal, which has left the rest of us feeling like we're stuck in some kind of bizarre experiment. It seems everyone wants to prove that their little darlings got into college on merit alone, without a single bribe or favor. Please, spare us the hypocrisy.

The Therapy Files

As we all know, celeb parents are basically just trying to validate themselves through their children's achievements. But let's be real – they get paid to cry on command. Maybe it's time for them to invest in some actual therapy instead of just posting about their emotional instability on Instagram.

And speaking of therapy, here's a thought: maybe with all that cash and newfound free time, these A-listers could finally figure out why they're so desperate to share every moment of their children's lives on social media. After all, it's not like they have anything better to do...

The Reality Check

As we navigate the complexities of parenting, it's essential to remember that the kids will be back – and soon. My daughter goes off to college for a few months, and then she's back in our rental minivan, carrying a cardboard box of Clorox wipes and an Allen wrench (because, priorities).

When I ask her if she wants to study abroad next year, it's not because I'm secretly hoping to have the house to myself; it's because I want to grow an indoor herb garden and leave the blinds up past Christmas. The truth is, being a parent means letting go – and sometimes that's harder than sharing your feelings on Instagram.

So, to all you A-listers out there, take note: when it comes to showing emotion, less is more. Your children will be back soon enough, and trust me, they won't care about the hundreds of photos you posted about their departure on social media.