Meghan Markle's Kardashian Transformation: A New Low?

Meghan Markle's Descent into Kardashian Territory: A Cautionary Tale of Fame, Failure, and Family

In a shocking turn of events, Meghan Markle has been spotted displaying all the hallmarks of her impending transformation into a full-fledged Kardashian. The erstwhile Duchess of Sussex has been quietly shedding her royal connections like a snake sheds its skin, leaving behind a trail of canceled projects, failed business ventures, and a dwindling list of A-list friends.

It's as if Meghan has taken a cue from the age-old adage: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." But this time, she's replaced the lemons with an entire orchard of bruised, bumpy lemons, carefully curated for maximum shock value. And who better to guide her through this ostensible exploitation than none other than Kris Jenner, the infamous matriarch of the Kardashian clan?

As we delve into the tangled web of Meghan's recent actions, it becomes increasingly clear that she has been playing a high-stakes game of Monopoly with her own reputation. With each failed project and abandoned business endeavor, the stakes have grown higher, but her desperation has only intensified. It's as if she's saying, "I'll do whatever it takes to stay relevant," even if it means embracing the very essence of Kardashian-ness.

Let's start with the latest debacle: Meghan's ill-advised stunt at the Balenciaga show in Paris. In a move that reeked of calculated insensitivity, she posted a reel of herself lounging in a chauffeured limo, feet up and nonchalant, while driving by the very tunnel where Princess Diana tragically lost her life. The timing was deliberate; the shock value was palpable. And what better way to capitalize on this dark moment than with a potential Netflix documentary?

But here's the thing: Meghan might just be onto something. After all, 2027 marks the 30th anniversary of Diana's passing. Perhaps Meghan is quietly compiling a sizzle reel for her own eventual docuseries. One can almost imagine the marketing taglines now: "A Royal Scandal," "The Duchess Diaries," or even "Meghan Markle: From Royalty to Reality TV."

As we navigate this topsy-turvy world of celebrity politics, one thing becomes increasingly clear: Meghan's fate is inextricably linked with that of her husband, Prince Harry. And by extension, their relationship with the British royal family. The recent expulsion of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson from royal life serves as a stark reminder that the winds are changing. It seems King Charles has finally taken a page from his son William's playbook: pragmatism over sentiment.

For those who may have missed it, here's the CliffsNotes version:

• Prince William, ever the voice of reason, appears to be behind the scenes, pushing for a more sustainable future for the monarchy.
• Meghan Markle's "40x40 Initiative," launched in August 2021, has seemingly fizzled out without making much of an impact.
• The animated series "Pearl" (announced in July 2021) was quietly canceled by Netflix in May 2022 without ever reaching production.
• Her podcast "Archetypes with Meghan" with Spotify lasted a mere six months, from August to December 2023.
• And don't even get us started on the ill-fated "Confessions of a Female Founder" podcast, which bit the dust after just three short months.

The pattern is clear: Meghan's projects have been an unmitigated disaster. Even her Netflix series, "With Love, Meghan," failed to land any A-list guests (no Taylor Swift, no Oprah – not even Gwyneth or Michelle Obama).

In a shocking twist, it appears that Meghan has been quietly courting Kris Jenner and her family for months now. We first saw the beginnings of this unlikely alliance in August 2023, when Jenner and Kim were photographed with Doria Ragland (Meghan's mother) at This is About Humanity's 5th Annual Soiree.

Fast-forward to 2022, when The Mirror reported that Kris Jenner was eager to bring Harry and Meghan into her fold – literally. "It's no coincidence that the Kardashians all move in the same circles as Meghan's new circle," a source said at the time. How the tables have turned!

Now, it seems, Megan is finally embracing her true calling: becoming a Kardashian. Every single one of her projects has been an epic flop, but Kris Jenner might just be the magic ingredient she needs to turn things around.

As Khloe Kardashian so astutely observed in her 2022 Masterclass: "Without a success-driven mentality, what are you being famous for?" Meghan Markle would do well to take those words to heart. After all, as they say in Hollywood: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." And if that doesn't work? Well, there's always the option of trading in your royal title for a spot on Kris Jenner's reality TV show.

The Numbers Game

Here are some statistics to put Meghan Markle's downward spiral into perspective:

• Projects: 9
• Canceled/Failed: 8
• Timeframe: August 2021 – Present

A comprehensive list of Meghan's endeavors follows:

• "40x40 Initiative": Cancelled (August 2021)
• "Pearl" animated series with Netflix: Cancelled (May 2022)
• "Archetypes with Meghan" podcast with Spotify: Lasted 6 months (August – December 2023)
• "Heart of Invictus" docuseries, produced with Harry: Awaiting production status
• "Polo" Netflix docuseries, produced with Harry: Scheduled for release in December 2024
• "Confessions of a Female Founder": Cancelled (April – June 2025)
• "With Love, Meghan" Netflix series: Failed to land any A-list guests (March – December 2025)

The Future Looks Brighter than Ever

It's time to face the music: Meghan Markle is running out of options. But Kris Jenner might just be the game-changer she needs. And as they say in show business, "A rising tide lifts all boats." With her newfound relationship with Kris and the Kardashians, Meghan may have finally found a lifeline – or perhaps even a new lease on life.

In the immortal words of Khloe Kardashian: "Without a success-driven mentality, what are you being famous for?" The answer, dear reader, lies in the actions of one Ms. Markle herself.