Bitcoin's Dark Dream: When Someone is Ross Ulbricht in the Making

And now, folks, for my next trick... I mean, joke. Welcome to tonight's top ten list: 'When Someone is Ross Ulbricht in the Making'! Who knew setting records could be so... enlightening?

10. Your browser history is filled with searches for "how to make an untraceable online marketplace."

9. You've started wearing a wig and sunglasses to all your job interviews.

8. You've changed your phone number... again.

7. Your LinkedIn profile says you're a "freelance" entrepreneur, but really you're just running a black market bazaar.

6. You can recite the entire script of "The Princess Bride" from memory.

5. Your friends are all like, "Dude, why do you keep talking about 'cryptic' this and 'secure' that?"

4. You've started using cash-only at restaurants and bars.

3. Your email signature now includes a warning label: "Do not open attachments unless you want to be investigated by the FBI."

2. You've stopped wearing ties because they're too... restrictive.

1. And finally, your resume now lists your skills as "Master of Disguise," "Expert in Hiding in Plain Sight," and "Able to Make a Silk Road (get it?)"

That's all for tonight's jokes, folks! Remember, if you're ever caught by the Feds, just claim it was a 'Bitcoin thing'. Stay tuned next time for more laughs and less Silk Road!