Amazon's 'Woke' Makeover: James Bond Loses His Guns and Girls!

BOND GOES WOKE: Amazon's Bizarre Decision to Remove Guns and Girls from 007 Posters Sparks Fury Among Die-Hard Fans

In a move that has left even the most stalwart Bond aficionados spluttering into their martinis, Amazon has made the jaw-dropping decision to remove two of James Bond's favorite things from its new posters: guns and girls. The changes, made ahead of the release of upcoming installments in the 007 franchise, have sparked outrage among fans who are left scratching their heads at the bizarre picture doctoring.

The news comes as a shock to die-hard Bond enthusiasts who have been eagerly awaiting the next installment of the series. While we may not know who will be playing Bond just yet (rumors suggest that Denis Villeneuve, the 57-year-old Canadian director, is leading the search for the ideal actor), one thing is certain: Amazon's decision to remove guns and girls from its posters has sparked a heated debate among fans.

For those who haven't been paying attention, Amazon acquired the rights to the 007 franchise as part of its purchase of MGM studios earlier this year. The deal was reportedly worth around £1billion, and it seems that the new owners have decided to put their own spin on things. Gone are the days of Sean Connery's suave sophistication and Roger Moore's dashing good looks, replaced instead with awkward, digitally altered versions of the actors.

But what about the guns? Ah, yes, those too are gone. In some cases, it seems that Amazon has resorted to simple image cropping to remove the offending firearms from view. The new poster for Spectre, starring Daniel Craig as Bond, is a case in point. Instead of holding his trusty Walther PPK in his right hand, Craig's hands have been cropped out altogether.

The changes have left fans reeling, with many taking to social media to express their outrage and disappointment. "This is so pathetic," one fan wrote, while another quipped, "License not to kill?" (a reference, of course, to Bond's catchphrase being rendered useless without his firearm).

But it's not just the guns that have been removed – Amazon has also seen fit to airbrush out the girls. Gone are the beautiful Bond girls who have become an integral part of the franchise, replaced instead with dull, grey backgrounds and a 007 graphic that seems to be trying to make up for the lack of interest.

The changes have sparked a heated debate among fans, with some arguing that Amazon is trying to make the franchise more "woke" (whatever that means). But for those who love Bond for what he is – a suave, sophisticated spy with a license to kill – these changes are nothing short of sacrilegious.

"It's like they're trying to take away all the things that made Bond great in the first place," one fan wrote. "The guns and girls are an integral part of the franchise – without them, it's just not Bond."

And yet, despite the outrage among fans, Amazon seems to be sticking by its decision. The company has been approached for comment, but so far, there's been no response.

As the search for the next Bond gets underway (with Villeneuve reportedly leading the charge), one thing is certain: the franchise needs a shot in the arm – and fast. With these bizarre changes to the posters, it seems that Amazon has taken a step in the wrong direction.

The 007 Franchise Through the Years

For those who are new to the world of Bond, here's a quick rundown of some of the most iconic installments in the franchise:

• Dr. No (1962): The first Bond film, starring Sean Connery as the suave and sophisticated spy.
• Goldfinger (1964): Another classic installment, this time with Connery at the helm and featuring one of the most memorable villains in the series – Auric Goldfinger.
• Moonraker (1979): Roger Moore's Bond takes on his biggest challenge yet in this action-packed installment, which sees him battling against a group of space-faring villains.
• Octopussy (1983): Another Moore classic, this time featuring a Bond girl who is as deadly as she is beautiful.
• GoldenEye (1995): Pierce Brosnan's first outing as Bond, which marked a new era for the franchise and saw him taking on his biggest challenge yet – a rogue Russian agent with a personal vendetta against Bond.

The Future of 007

As Amazon continues to navigate the complex world of Bond, one thing is certain: the franchise needs a shot in the arm. With these bizarre changes to the posters, it seems that the new owners are trying to put their own spin on things. But will it work? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, fans can rest assured that The Scholarly Note will continue to keep you up-to-date with all the latest news and gossip from the world of Bond. Stay tuned!